Published: June 10, 2010
Consider before you ignore or outright refuse a very low purchase offer for your home. A counteroffer and negotiation could turn that low purchase offer into a sale.
Check your emotions
A purchase offer, even a very low one, means someone wants to purchase your home. Unless the offer is laughably low, it deserves a cordial response, whether that’s a counteroffer or an outright rejection. Remain calm and discuss with your real estate agent the many ways you can respond to a lowball purchase offer.
Counter the purchase offer
Unless you’ve received multiple purchase offers, the best response is to counter the low offer with a price and terms you’re willing to accept. Some buyers make a low offer because they think that’s customary, they’re afraid they’ll overpay, or they want to test your limits. A counteroffer signals that you’re willing to negotiate. One strategy for your counteroffer is to lower your price, but remove any concessions such as seller assistance with closing costs, or features such as kitchen appliances that you’d like to take with you.
Consider the terms
Price is paramount for most buyers and sellers, but it’s not the only deal point. A low purchase offer might make sense if the contingencies are reasonable, the closing date meets your needs, and the buyer is preapproved for a mortgage. Consider what terms you might change in a counteroffer to make the deal work.
Review your comps
Ask your REALTOR® whether any homes that are comparable to yours (known as “comps”) have been sold or put on the market since your home was listed for sale. If those new comps are at lower prices, you might have to lower your price to match them if you want to sell.
Consider the buyer’s comps
Buyers sometimes attach comps to a low offer to try to convince the seller to accept a lower purchase offer. Take a look at those comps. Are the homes similar to yours? If so, your asking price might be unrealistic. If not, you might want to include in your counteroffer information about those homes and your own comps that justify your asking price.If the buyers don’t include comps to justify their low purchase offer, have your real estate agent ask the buyers’ agent for those comps.
Get the agents together
If the purchase offer is too low to counter, but you don’t have a better option, ask your real estate agent to call the buyer’s agent and try to narrow the price gap so that a counteroffer would make sense. Also, ask your real estate agent whether the buyer (or buyer’s agent) has a reputation for lowball purchase offers. If that’s the case, you might feel freer to reject the offer.
Don’t signal desperation
Buyers are sensitive to signs that a seller may be receptive to a low purchase offer. If your home is vacant or your home’s listing describes you as a “motivated” seller, you’re signaling you’re open to a low offer. If you can remedy the situation, maybe by renting furniture or asking your agent not to mention in your home listing that you’re motivated, the next purchase offer you get might be more to your liking.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Our World Today
OIL & GOLD FALL ... GASOLINE PRICES RISEGold lost $21.10 last week to close at $1,384.30 per ounce Friday on the COMEX, while oil lost $1.40 across five days to conclude the week at $87.79 a barrel on the NYMEX. Retail gasoline prices just climbed to levels unseen since 2008 - last week, they were 35 cents higher than a year ago with a gallon of regular unleaded averaging $2.98 nationally. Industry analysts think pump prices will soon decline.3,4
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
10 Designer tricks to help you make any room look larger
1. For the illusion of a larger room, use a color scheme that is light rather than bright or dark. Pastels, neutrals and white are all color possibilities.
2. Use a monochromatic color scheme on the furniture, rugs and walls. Select different shades and textures of your single color.
3. Lighting is a key element in opening up a space. Recessed spot lighting is visually appealing and is perfect for a small space. A torchiere light is great for bouncing light off of the ceiling and back down on the room.Skylights and solar tubes are natural alternatives for adding light to a room.
4. Limit the number of accessories to avoid the cluttered feeling.
5. The floor and the ceiling are the fifth and sixth walls of every room. A light-colored flooring such as light oak or a light-colored carpet will make the room appear brighter and more open. The same applies to the ceiling—use a light color or white to "open up" the space above.
6. Increase the appearance of the size of the room by adding wall mirrors. They not only reflect images, they reflect light and color. Be a little daring! Use mirror tiles to mirror an entire wall. Your room will appear to double in size.
7. Don't place too many pieces of furniture in a small space. A love seat may work better than a full-size sofa depending on the size and shape of the room. Add two medium-sized chairs or two small wood chairs. Place the chairs closer to the wall and then pull them into the area when additional seating is needed.
8. Add paintings or prints to the walls. One large painting works better than a group of small paintings.
9. The visual balance of a room is also important. A large, brightly colored element can overwhelm a room and decrease the appearance of space.
10. A glass table, whether it is a dining, coffee or end table, will keep the appearance of an open and free space.
2. Use a monochromatic color scheme on the furniture, rugs and walls. Select different shades and textures of your single color.
3. Lighting is a key element in opening up a space. Recessed spot lighting is visually appealing and is perfect for a small space. A torchiere light is great for bouncing light off of the ceiling and back down on the room.Skylights and solar tubes are natural alternatives for adding light to a room.
4. Limit the number of accessories to avoid the cluttered feeling.
5. The floor and the ceiling are the fifth and sixth walls of every room. A light-colored flooring such as light oak or a light-colored carpet will make the room appear brighter and more open. The same applies to the ceiling—use a light color or white to "open up" the space above.
6. Increase the appearance of the size of the room by adding wall mirrors. They not only reflect images, they reflect light and color. Be a little daring! Use mirror tiles to mirror an entire wall. Your room will appear to double in size.
7. Don't place too many pieces of furniture in a small space. A love seat may work better than a full-size sofa depending on the size and shape of the room. Add two medium-sized chairs or two small wood chairs. Place the chairs closer to the wall and then pull them into the area when additional seating is needed.
8. Add paintings or prints to the walls. One large painting works better than a group of small paintings.
9. The visual balance of a room is also important. A large, brightly colored element can overwhelm a room and decrease the appearance of space.
10. A glass table, whether it is a dining, coffee or end table, will keep the appearance of an open and free space.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Pay Off Debt Before Saving for Retirement
October 19, 2010--(MCT)--Hard times elicit tough choices. This week, Steven Zeller, a Gold River, Calif.-based investment adviser, tackles a reader's question on credit card debt and mortgage loans.QUESTION: I've entered into a hardship payment program with the six banks that issued my 10 credit cards. I'm paying off $80,000 at an overall interest rate of 6 percent (down from an average of 20 percent). Due to the reduced payments, I now have $3,000 in monthly surplus income to either invest with, or pay down the credit cards.I also have an upside-down mortgage on a rental house owned as income property. The bank seems (unwilling) to either modify or reduce the principal so I can sell it.In time, this will all find its way into (Chapter 11 bankruptcy) courts. Life would be simpler if I pay down the credit cards and concentrate on (getting) the house above water. Instead, I've decided to invest the surplus in ERISA retirement vehicles and Roth IRAs. They would be exempt from collections but available as bargaining chips when negotiating with creditors. What is your opinion?ANSWER: I would not encourage anyone to go into bankruptcy proceedings if he or she can help it. It creates a lot of stress and is not the best for your self-esteem.If you have 10 credit cards to pay off, 6 percent is a pretty good deal instead of 20 percent.I would begin paying off the credit cards, starting with the smallest one first, until they are all gone for good.It may be painful at first, but you will increase your cash flow over time by (eliminating) the monthly payments.Then I would attack the upside-down situation with your rental. In the long run, it is better, financially and emotionally, to be debt-free. And if the (credit card issuers) are giving you that opportunity, I would jump on it.It would be a great personal and moral accomplishment.At the end of the day, if you pay into an IRA and Roth IRA instead of paying down your credit card debt, you will still have debt. As far as negotiating with the (lender) on your rental property, I'm not sure it would look at the situation very positively if it saw you were fully funding your IRAs.
Monday, October 18, 2010
NAR warns families will suffer if foreclosure freeze continues...
Thousands of first-time and move-up buyers who hoped to make a foreclosed property their new home now face uncertainty, anxiety and possibly remorse as they worry that closing on their desired property could be in jeopardy.
For many, the dream of homeownership could turn into agony if their home purchase is indefinitely delayed by a moratorium on foreclosures declared by some banks, says the National Association of Realtors®. The moratoriums are needed, banks say, to review all of the foreclosures in their portfolios to make sure they’re in compliance with the law and that titles are clear. .
NAR warns that a prolonged review process would have a damaging impact on many communities and hinder the nation’s economic recovery. .
“As the leading advocate for homeownership issues, we understand that many lenders need a time-out to review their actions to ensure that homeowners are not improperly foreclosed on and that the lenders are following regulations and state laws. After that, the foreclosure process must resume quickly to return stability to families, the housing market and the economy,” says NAR President Vicki Cox Golder. .
Over the past few months NAR has met with officials of top banks to discuss market issues. NAR urged banking leaders to seek resolution quickly through loan modifications and the short-sale process rather than through foreclosure. “We stand ready to help lenders develop better short-sale procedures,” Golder says. .
“There are valid foreclosures that should move ahead quickly, and we shouldn’t lump them in with mortgages that are suspect. That would cause deep problems in an already fragile market and throw many families into uncertainty,” Golder says. .
Golder says that she is receiving reports from REALTORS® that the moratorium is already creating some anxiety among purchasers as transactions are being delayed and that some foreclosure listings are being removed from the market. .
Compounding the problem is that the requirements for foreclosure vary by state, and practices to meet these requirements vary by firm. NAR is working with regulators, such as the Federal Housing Finance Agency; and encouraging them to identify and quickly address process problems. .
In a letter to the U.S Treasury Department, the U.S Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the Federal Housing Finance Agency, NAR stated the hope that banks would complete their foreclosure review expeditiously to assure that the rights of borrowers are protected and remove doubt that buyers will receive clear title to their purchase. .
“NAR has long urged the lending industry to take every feasible action to keep families in their homes with a loan modification and, if that is not possible, to give them a ‘graceful exit’ through a short sale. These options are far better than a foreclosure, and nothing has driven this point home more clearly than the questions being raised about foreclosures. Lenders should place additional resources into processing loan modifications and short sales
Thousands of first-time and move-up buyers who hoped to make a foreclosed property their new home now face uncertainty, anxiety and possibly remorse as they worry that closing on their desired property could be in jeopardy.
For many, the dream of homeownership could turn into agony if their home purchase is indefinitely delayed by a moratorium on foreclosures declared by some banks, says the National Association of Realtors®. The moratoriums are needed, banks say, to review all of the foreclosures in their portfolios to make sure they’re in compliance with the law and that titles are clear. .
NAR warns that a prolonged review process would have a damaging impact on many communities and hinder the nation’s economic recovery. .
“As the leading advocate for homeownership issues, we understand that many lenders need a time-out to review their actions to ensure that homeowners are not improperly foreclosed on and that the lenders are following regulations and state laws. After that, the foreclosure process must resume quickly to return stability to families, the housing market and the economy,” says NAR President Vicki Cox Golder. .
Over the past few months NAR has met with officials of top banks to discuss market issues. NAR urged banking leaders to seek resolution quickly through loan modifications and the short-sale process rather than through foreclosure. “We stand ready to help lenders develop better short-sale procedures,” Golder says. .
“There are valid foreclosures that should move ahead quickly, and we shouldn’t lump them in with mortgages that are suspect. That would cause deep problems in an already fragile market and throw many families into uncertainty,” Golder says. .
Golder says that she is receiving reports from REALTORS® that the moratorium is already creating some anxiety among purchasers as transactions are being delayed and that some foreclosure listings are being removed from the market. .
Compounding the problem is that the requirements for foreclosure vary by state, and practices to meet these requirements vary by firm. NAR is working with regulators, such as the Federal Housing Finance Agency; and encouraging them to identify and quickly address process problems. .
In a letter to the U.S Treasury Department, the U.S Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the Federal Housing Finance Agency, NAR stated the hope that banks would complete their foreclosure review expeditiously to assure that the rights of borrowers are protected and remove doubt that buyers will receive clear title to their purchase. .
“NAR has long urged the lending industry to take every feasible action to keep families in their homes with a loan modification and, if that is not possible, to give them a ‘graceful exit’ through a short sale. These options are far better than a foreclosure, and nothing has driven this point home more clearly than the questions being raised about foreclosures. Lenders should place additional resources into processing loan modifications and short sales.
For many, the dream of homeownership could turn into agony if their home purchase is indefinitely delayed by a moratorium on foreclosures declared by some banks, says the National Association of Realtors®. The moratoriums are needed, banks say, to review all of the foreclosures in their portfolios to make sure they’re in compliance with the law and that titles are clear. .
NAR warns that a prolonged review process would have a damaging impact on many communities and hinder the nation’s economic recovery. .
“As the leading advocate for homeownership issues, we understand that many lenders need a time-out to review their actions to ensure that homeowners are not improperly foreclosed on and that the lenders are following regulations and state laws. After that, the foreclosure process must resume quickly to return stability to families, the housing market and the economy,” says NAR President Vicki Cox Golder. .
Over the past few months NAR has met with officials of top banks to discuss market issues. NAR urged banking leaders to seek resolution quickly through loan modifications and the short-sale process rather than through foreclosure. “We stand ready to help lenders develop better short-sale procedures,” Golder says. .
“There are valid foreclosures that should move ahead quickly, and we shouldn’t lump them in with mortgages that are suspect. That would cause deep problems in an already fragile market and throw many families into uncertainty,” Golder says. .
Golder says that she is receiving reports from REALTORS® that the moratorium is already creating some anxiety among purchasers as transactions are being delayed and that some foreclosure listings are being removed from the market. .
Compounding the problem is that the requirements for foreclosure vary by state, and practices to meet these requirements vary by firm. NAR is working with regulators, such as the Federal Housing Finance Agency; and encouraging them to identify and quickly address process problems. .
In a letter to the U.S Treasury Department, the U.S Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the Federal Housing Finance Agency, NAR stated the hope that banks would complete their foreclosure review expeditiously to assure that the rights of borrowers are protected and remove doubt that buyers will receive clear title to their purchase. .
“NAR has long urged the lending industry to take every feasible action to keep families in their homes with a loan modification and, if that is not possible, to give them a ‘graceful exit’ through a short sale. These options are far better than a foreclosure, and nothing has driven this point home more clearly than the questions being raised about foreclosures. Lenders should place additional resources into processing loan modifications and short sales
Thousands of first-time and move-up buyers who hoped to make a foreclosed property their new home now face uncertainty, anxiety and possibly remorse as they worry that closing on their desired property could be in jeopardy.
For many, the dream of homeownership could turn into agony if their home purchase is indefinitely delayed by a moratorium on foreclosures declared by some banks, says the National Association of Realtors®. The moratoriums are needed, banks say, to review all of the foreclosures in their portfolios to make sure they’re in compliance with the law and that titles are clear. .
NAR warns that a prolonged review process would have a damaging impact on many communities and hinder the nation’s economic recovery. .
“As the leading advocate for homeownership issues, we understand that many lenders need a time-out to review their actions to ensure that homeowners are not improperly foreclosed on and that the lenders are following regulations and state laws. After that, the foreclosure process must resume quickly to return stability to families, the housing market and the economy,” says NAR President Vicki Cox Golder. .
Over the past few months NAR has met with officials of top banks to discuss market issues. NAR urged banking leaders to seek resolution quickly through loan modifications and the short-sale process rather than through foreclosure. “We stand ready to help lenders develop better short-sale procedures,” Golder says. .
“There are valid foreclosures that should move ahead quickly, and we shouldn’t lump them in with mortgages that are suspect. That would cause deep problems in an already fragile market and throw many families into uncertainty,” Golder says. .
Golder says that she is receiving reports from REALTORS® that the moratorium is already creating some anxiety among purchasers as transactions are being delayed and that some foreclosure listings are being removed from the market. .
Compounding the problem is that the requirements for foreclosure vary by state, and practices to meet these requirements vary by firm. NAR is working with regulators, such as the Federal Housing Finance Agency; and encouraging them to identify and quickly address process problems. .
In a letter to the U.S Treasury Department, the U.S Department of Housing and Urban Development, and the Federal Housing Finance Agency, NAR stated the hope that banks would complete their foreclosure review expeditiously to assure that the rights of borrowers are protected and remove doubt that buyers will receive clear title to their purchase. .
“NAR has long urged the lending industry to take every feasible action to keep families in their homes with a loan modification and, if that is not possible, to give them a ‘graceful exit’ through a short sale. These options are far better than a foreclosure, and nothing has driven this point home more clearly than the questions being raised about foreclosures. Lenders should place additional resources into processing loan modifications and short sales.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Short Sales
It appears as though some of the banks are starting to "get with it" in processing and making the process a little shorter to approve a short sale.
One particular bank is working towards a normal transaction time frame from contract to closing.
All properties that apply for short sales have to qualify, just because they are listed as a short sale does not mean it will be approved by the bank.
For more information on short sales in Central Florida and the East Coast Beach, call Cindy Adkins, realtor, Grace Realty, Inc. 407-921-5541.
One particular bank is working towards a normal transaction time frame from contract to closing.
All properties that apply for short sales have to qualify, just because they are listed as a short sale does not mean it will be approved by the bank.
For more information on short sales in Central Florida and the East Coast Beach, call Cindy Adkins, realtor, Grace Realty, Inc. 407-921-5541.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Short Sales
Many homeowners continue to be discouraged with the banks not approving their short sales quick enough. It is costing the sellers and realtors buyers on the properties for sale. Buyers exhaust their waiting efforts to get a deal on a home. The banks are paperworking the sellers to death and once that is all in and updated, the buyer walks. It is quite a discouraging time for our sellers. One main culprit in the "slow" process is Bank of America. So if you have a loan with them beware of the time frame being anywhere from 3 to 6 months. It is a gruelling one to wait. Hopefully they will put some systems in place soon that will move these files along alot quicker. As you and I know.. our real estate market in Florida cannot even begin to recover until these short sales on the market are approved and closed. To eliminate the short sales in our marketplace, this will move our economy towards a recovery that is truly needed in Florida. Let's get people back to work so they can support their families. Realtors struggle through this market too, the wait process on short sales means no income for the local realtor either. We don't need the government to help us recover. We need the banks to get off their butts, put some viable workable systems in place and shove these files out to the closing table. Until that happens, Florida will continue to be in a slump market overall. Let's shoot for recovery here in Florida, so we can all get back to work and be happy once again. Regards, Cindy Adkins, realtor.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Economy Forcing More Young Adults to Move Back in with Mom and Dad
RISMEDIA, December 24, 2009—(MCT)—Van Simpson has carved out two narrow pathways in his overstuffed garage. The old stoves, mismatched chairs and stained microwaves are the detritus of three sons who’ve come, gone and come back again.
The Simpsons, of McKinney, Texas, aren’t the only parents still waiting for an empty nest. The recession, fewer job openings and shifting social norms are more visibly pushing college graduates back to mom and dad. Almost one in seven parents say grown children have moved back in with them this year because of the economy, according to a new report by the Pew Research Center.
The migration—decades old but highlighted by the economic downturn—breeds a new kind of parent-child dynamic, sometimes more harmful than healthy. Filial dependency, stunted maturity and even siphoned savings can outweigh the benefits of renewed family bonds.
“There was a time I would have thought 25 years old is too old to live at home,” said Laura Simpson, Van Simpson’s wife, who was married with children by that age. “But it’s different now,” she said. “It’s not something you plan as you’re trying to start life as an adult,” said Stephen Simpson, who added to the garage heap when he moved back into his parents’ home this summer. He had struggled through 30 interviews after graduating from Texas A&M University-Commerce with a math degree. He gave up on job hunting, settled into a spare bedroom and started graduate school at the University of North Texas.
He has plenty of company. About 30% of 18-34 year olds live with their parents, according to 2008 census data. The Network on Transitions to Adulthood calculates that the number of young adults living with their parents has gone up 50% since the 1970s. The phenomenon even has its own lexicon: words such as “boomerang kids,” “adultescence” and “quarter-life crisis.”
The needy-child stigma has faded, said David Morrison, the president and founder of Twentysomething, a consulting and research firm that focuses on young adults. “It’s become a steppingstone to long-term independence,” said Morrison, who has been credited with coining the term “adultescence.” He said the trend spikes during economic downturns, but has grown since the 1991 and 2001 recessions. At that time, “parents thought they failed children and nobody talked about moving home,” Morrison said. “Over time, kids moved out again and they seemed the better for it.”
The United States is relatively unusual in its early independence. Young adults in Hispanic, Asian and Eastern European cultures often live with their parents until they’re married. The cultural acceptance in the U.S. has been exacerbated by a heightened financial awareness among 20-somethings, Morrison said. Young adults are increasingly conscious of their monetary situation and discuss it with parents. And whereas their parents might have held on to one job for the duration of their work life, today’s college graduates are more likely to bounce through several.
Robin Meredith’s mother invited her back when the 29-year-old lost her advertising job in September. “I resisted it for a while- a loss of independence, pride thing going on,” said Meredith, who traded her Addison apartment for her mother’s split-level in Arlington. She sacrificed late-night callers and free cable for the ability to work toward a health care degree.
Angela Bell, a 58 year old federal employee, said the arrangement “feels like roommates” and gives her a chance to get to know her daughter as an adult. The two drew up a proposal involving rent and ground rules.
The prodigal homecoming may be more harmful than unwanted pets, warned Joseph Allen, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia who has just co-written a book on the difficulties of ending adolescence. “We have let the tables get turned in a way that isn’t good for anybody,” he said. “We are so eager to nurture kids that we never challenge them and ask them to grow up.”
Moving home has even greater consequences now with the potential to rupture parents’ dwindling retirement savings, he said. “The key is not to let kids get the sense that it’s a free ride,” Allen said. “They’re in partnership. They pull their weight.”
Beverly Renkes sees a middle ground, especially in a perilous economy. It isn’t mooching; it’s a safety net, she said. Her two 20-something sons, one a mechanical engineer and the other an accountant, have jobs but live at home.
“I’ve seen so many of my friends’ kids get into debt in the last 10 years, and I don’t want them to start out that way,” said Renkes, a Dallas accountant. They help with the dishes and pay for their own phones and car insurance. On weekends, they buy her lunch. “It’s quite a unique experience when the bill comes and one grabs it and puts the credit card down,” she said. “We have a totally different relationship now.” But the situation is soothed by its transitional aspect. One son is moving out this month, and the other is considering it. “We were empty-nesters once for about four months,” she said. “It will be fine when it happens again.”
The Simpsons, of McKinney, Texas, aren’t the only parents still waiting for an empty nest. The recession, fewer job openings and shifting social norms are more visibly pushing college graduates back to mom and dad. Almost one in seven parents say grown children have moved back in with them this year because of the economy, according to a new report by the Pew Research Center.
The migration—decades old but highlighted by the economic downturn—breeds a new kind of parent-child dynamic, sometimes more harmful than healthy. Filial dependency, stunted maturity and even siphoned savings can outweigh the benefits of renewed family bonds.
“There was a time I would have thought 25 years old is too old to live at home,” said Laura Simpson, Van Simpson’s wife, who was married with children by that age. “But it’s different now,” she said. “It’s not something you plan as you’re trying to start life as an adult,” said Stephen Simpson, who added to the garage heap when he moved back into his parents’ home this summer. He had struggled through 30 interviews after graduating from Texas A&M University-Commerce with a math degree. He gave up on job hunting, settled into a spare bedroom and started graduate school at the University of North Texas.
He has plenty of company. About 30% of 18-34 year olds live with their parents, according to 2008 census data. The Network on Transitions to Adulthood calculates that the number of young adults living with their parents has gone up 50% since the 1970s. The phenomenon even has its own lexicon: words such as “boomerang kids,” “adultescence” and “quarter-life crisis.”
The needy-child stigma has faded, said David Morrison, the president and founder of Twentysomething, a consulting and research firm that focuses on young adults. “It’s become a steppingstone to long-term independence,” said Morrison, who has been credited with coining the term “adultescence.” He said the trend spikes during economic downturns, but has grown since the 1991 and 2001 recessions. At that time, “parents thought they failed children and nobody talked about moving home,” Morrison said. “Over time, kids moved out again and they seemed the better for it.”
The United States is relatively unusual in its early independence. Young adults in Hispanic, Asian and Eastern European cultures often live with their parents until they’re married. The cultural acceptance in the U.S. has been exacerbated by a heightened financial awareness among 20-somethings, Morrison said. Young adults are increasingly conscious of their monetary situation and discuss it with parents. And whereas their parents might have held on to one job for the duration of their work life, today’s college graduates are more likely to bounce through several.
Robin Meredith’s mother invited her back when the 29-year-old lost her advertising job in September. “I resisted it for a while- a loss of independence, pride thing going on,” said Meredith, who traded her Addison apartment for her mother’s split-level in Arlington. She sacrificed late-night callers and free cable for the ability to work toward a health care degree.
Angela Bell, a 58 year old federal employee, said the arrangement “feels like roommates” and gives her a chance to get to know her daughter as an adult. The two drew up a proposal involving rent and ground rules.
The prodigal homecoming may be more harmful than unwanted pets, warned Joseph Allen, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia who has just co-written a book on the difficulties of ending adolescence. “We have let the tables get turned in a way that isn’t good for anybody,” he said. “We are so eager to nurture kids that we never challenge them and ask them to grow up.”
Moving home has even greater consequences now with the potential to rupture parents’ dwindling retirement savings, he said. “The key is not to let kids get the sense that it’s a free ride,” Allen said. “They’re in partnership. They pull their weight.”
Beverly Renkes sees a middle ground, especially in a perilous economy. It isn’t mooching; it’s a safety net, she said. Her two 20-something sons, one a mechanical engineer and the other an accountant, have jobs but live at home.
“I’ve seen so many of my friends’ kids get into debt in the last 10 years, and I don’t want them to start out that way,” said Renkes, a Dallas accountant. They help with the dishes and pay for their own phones and car insurance. On weekends, they buy her lunch. “It’s quite a unique experience when the bill comes and one grabs it and puts the credit card down,” she said. “We have a totally different relationship now.” But the situation is soothed by its transitional aspect. One son is moving out this month, and the other is considering it. “We were empty-nesters once for about four months,” she said. “It will be fine when it happens again.”
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